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As Good an Explanation as is Forthcoming
}} Elan meets Julio Scoundrél and finds a way back to Azure City. Cast * Elan ◀ ▶ * Thog ◀ ▶ * Julio Scoundrél ▶ * A bartender * Thirteen Citizens of Cliffport Transcript An outside scene of an inn in Cliffport. Many people walk on the street. Elan enters the inn Elan: Excuse me, bartender? Could I possibly borrow a corkscrew? A woman's life may depend on it. Bartender: Uh, sure. Just give me a minute. Elan: Thank you! And can I get a diet cola? Elan sits down at the bar next to an charismatic older gentleman with a ponytail and a mustache. Elan whistles. Elan: ♪ Julio: OK, I simply MUST ask: How in the name of Gygax will a corkscrew save a woman's life?? Elan: Oh, well, uh... I really shouldn't talk about it. Julio: I promise I'll be the soul of discretion. If you don't tell me, it'll just rattle around in my brain for weeks. Elan: Well, OK... Since I have to wait for the corkscrew anyway... Elan: My evil twin brother lured me and my friends here to Cliffport by kidnapping my best friend's little sister but then used his own friends to distract them while he and his half-orc buddy knocked me out and glued a fake beard on me so that the police thought I was him and he was me and I went to jail and he teleported off with them but then I escaped from jail with the half-orc and now we're going to go find him and save my friend Haley who he's going to kill if we don't. Elan returns to whistling. Elan: ♪ Julio: And, the, uh...the corkscrew? Elan: Oh, it's part of my new plan to get us aboard an airship, bound for Azure City, since it's the only vehicle that travels fast enough, even though I don't have any money. Julio: How were you planning on paying for the diet soda, then? Elan: 30 ft. per round movement rate. Julio: Heh heh. That brings back memories. Julio: Tell you what, lad, I like you. Julio: And it just so happens that I am an airship captain myself, in fact. Elan: Really?? Wow, what were the chances? Julio: Pretty good, considering we wouldn't be having this scene if it didn't forward the plot in some way. Elan: Oh, right. Julio: Anyway, my ship, The Mechane, is docked right down— Elan: The Mechane?? But that's—omigods, you're... you're— Julio: That's right, kid. It is I... Cut to a scene of Julio striking a dashing pose on the deck of an airship. Julio (inset): Captain Julio Scoundrél, world-famous sky pirate, renown ladies' man, and all-around dashing action hero! Superimposed on the scene of Julio at the inn is Julio on the cover of a magazine. It reads: "Townspeople Weekly. Julio Scoundrel. SEXIEST MAN ALIVE! Plus, Sexiest Man Undead Dracula". Julio: And I'd still hold that title if they hadn't raised Valentino from the dead again... Elan: Oh wow! My mom is your biggest fan! She has like a dozen pictures of you in the drawer by the bed that she thinks I don't know about! Julio: Uh, OK... Elan: Can I have your autograph? Julio: I'll do you one better, kid: How would you like a lift to Azure City? I bet we could make it in a few days, if the winds favor us. Elan: NO WAY!! Julio: What can I say, you remind me of myself when I was younger. Elan: Thank you so much, Mr. Scoundrel! I just need to go tell my, uh, friend. Julio: Well hurry up, the offer expires when I finish my beer. Elan: Thog! Thog! I've got good news! Elan: It turns out we won't need my plan after all! Thog: but thog just finished step 3: stuffing potato salad into giant wooden alpaca! Next to Thog are: a Trojan Alpaca, a road cone, some rope, a pair of alpine skis and poles, a box labeled "SOAP", and a basketball. Thog holds a bowl of potato salad and a spoon. D&D Context * E. Gary Gygax, along with Dave Arneson, is the inventor of D&D and co-founder of TSR and Dragon magazine, which first published Order of the Stick. Gygax in particular had a huge influence on the evolution of the game, as he also wrote the rules for AD&D, now known as 1st edition D&D. It is these rules, moreso than original D&D (0th edition) that form the basis for the subsequent editions. Gary Gygax died in 2008, and was featured in #536 of this comic. * 30 ft per round is the base movement rate for medium creatures. Trivia * Townspeople Weekly is a parody of People magazine. * This is the first appearance of Julio Scoundrél, the Dashing Swordsman. External Links * 389}} View the comic * 29590}} View the discussion thread Category:Dashing Swordsman Elan Rescues Haley